Thanks to the voting, Darren had made us all the Head Porter. Alex, myself, Mary and a rather pissed off Steve we're all in charge, making decisions together and uniting our department. It had been several days since Darren made the decision, and all we had decided was when to take our breaks. It being Christmas Eve, the cold freezing fog had set in over the store and to accompany it, the sheer mass of customers, bounding through the aisles, grabbing things off the shelves in preparation for the day ahead.
It was due to be Steve and Mary's first Christmas together, but with the new regime in place, there had been an awful lot of tension and competitiveness amongst them.
'Dylan, Dylan. Get over here!' Steve ushered me over. 'What is the best intro? Sweet Child O' Mine or Money For Nothing?'
'I don't know.'
'Which one is the best, though?' Mary glared at me.
Most couples argue about their mortgage or forgetting to book a babysitter. But with Steve and Mary, it was the trivial nature of a musical introduction. In situations like these, it's really a matter of opinion and taste, with no real right or wrong answer. Steve and Mary weren't having any of that, though, and wanted an 'If you had to ...' kind of answer. As if a man would charge into my house whilst I ate my tea, put a gun to my head and made me choose. In that case, I'd have a lot more to worry about than music intros.
'They're both good.' I shrugged.
'One is better than the other.' Steve said.
Maybe in some people's minds. In others, no. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to this stuff. But in this case they were both wrong. The best intro is Voodoo Child by Jimi Hendrix. Of course I couldn't tell them that, chances are I would have made at least one of them cry.
'Are you deciding which one to buy? Because I bet you can get them both of a compilation CD or something.'
Yeah, and I bet Voodoo Child is track one.
'Speaking of buying.' Mary smiled. 'We've got you a little something. A Christmas prezzie from both of us.'
'What? I haven't got you guys anything.' I said.
'Don't worry.'
'Yeah, it's only vouchers.' Steve shrugged.
Vouchers are an odd gift. It's like giving someone and tenner and saying 'you can only spend it in one place!' Quite cruel really. But I'd gotten them nothing, so remained grateful. I took my break at half twelve like we arranged and sat down with a sandwich. Alex was soon over, slamming his dinner down on the table with a Santa Claus hat popped comicly on his head.
'What are you doing?' I asked. 'I thought we arranged for you to go on your dinner at one?'
Alex just shrugged. I'm glad our new regime was working.
'I've got you something.' Alex said through a mouthful of chips.
'What?'
'For Christmas.'
'Oh, I guessed that. But you didn't have to get me anything.'
'I know. Here.'
More vouchers.
'Thanks, mate. Steve and Mary got me a gift too. We didn't arrange anything, did we?'
'No. Just thought it would be nice.'
It is nice. I just wish the haunting feeling of shame and guilt wasn't surrounding me and my sandwich at that point. It's like when my mum writes our all her Christmas cards and sends them out. She always receives one from a family she hadn't thought of, and it worries her. For the whole year, in some cases. If we pre-arranged the gift sharing we could cut out all of the bad feelings.
'Darren wants to see you.'
Darren's office was an array of cheap tinsel and shiny paper reindeer's hanging off the ceiling. I doubt Darren decorated it himself, that's normally left to the Event's Manager, seemingly the only thing they do around Christmas time.
'Do sit, Dylan. Merry Christmas for tomorrow.'
'You too.' I cleared my throat.
'I'm giving everyone a little something. So, here you go...'
Darren handed my a white envelope. Inside was a plastic card. Vouchers for the music shop around the corner. I didn't know what to say, so I sighed a few times.
'We haven't arranged to exchanged gifts, have we?' I asked painfully.
'No.'
'It's just...I've been given gifts from a few people.'
'It's just a nice thing to do, isn't it?'
'Yes, but I wasn't told about it.'
So far I'd been given thirty five quid's worth of vouchers and felt terrible. I doubt that had ever happened to anyone. I thanked him again before leaving his office.
'Dylan?'
My name rattled out from behind me. I turned to see Sharon approaching me. Her hair was still scraped back and flame red, with a little hint of Christmas cheer in the tinsel-based hair band that shone at the back of her head.
'There you go, a little present.'
'Oh, for fucks sake!'
'Excuse me?'
Sharon doesn't like anyone! Why is she giving me presents!
'Sorry. It's just...we haven't arranged anything, have we?' I checked again.
'What do you mean?'
'Exchanging presents?'
'No, it's just a nice thing to do, isn't it?'
Sharon has never done a nice thing in her life. Why had she waited until Christmas Eve! This is the worst day of my life and I'm up fifty quid in vouchers. Merry bloody Christmas.
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