I slowly watched Bernard jot down words into his leather file, whilst Tommy and Steve giggled to each other and discussed how big the woman's tits where. I doubt Bernard was interested in how big they were. He was wearing a brown jacket with leather elbow pads stitched to it, people like that aren't interested in tits.
'Tommy. Steve. There's a few trolleys down the side of the Carphone Warehouse, if you fancy a walk.' I said.
'Do you fancy it, Tommy?'
'Aye, can do.'
We all smiled to each other as Steve and Tommy wandered off.
'So, are you in charge, then?'
I could have been honest, but really, no-one out here was in charge. In my opinion, it's anyone's game.
'Yeah, kind of. But I don't like to enforce any kind of hierarchy.' I smiled.
Glad I used that word. He looked like he knew was it meant, I hope I remembered what it meant.
'It's best to keep everyone equal, but yeah...I'm in charge.' I said proudly.
This was going well, until I saw Sharon charging over to us. He eyes dead set on mine.
'This is Sharon.' I introduced her as she thundered towards us.
Then I realised I hadn't informed Sharon of Bernard's visit, and instantly realised why she was walking at us.
'Sharon.' Bernard smiled again. 'Nice to meet you.'
'Who is this?' She said blankly.
A few moments lapsed before Sharon started again.
'I have been watching you for half an hour. And this man has been on your back every second!'
Bernard looked at me and grinned. I panicked again.
'I don't know, Sharon. He's just asking me questions. Costa Coffee, mate?' I turned to my potential employer. 'It's just down there.' I pointed behind him.
Sharon wouldn't have been happy if she had found out. It's not the done thing to invite the man you want a job off to your current place of work. It's like shitting on your own doorstep. Sharon looked him up and down and carried on her investigation.
'What is your business?' She spat at him.
'Museums.' He said calmly.
'They have meetings in Costa Coffee, Sharon.' I nodded.
'Meetings?' Sharon narrowed her eyes.
'Meetings. About museums.' I nodded again.
'Hmmm...'
'He just asked me where it was...so I told him.' I smiled.
'Get back to work.'
'Sharon.' Bernard help his pen up. 'Are you Dylan's manager?'
Sharon sighed.
'Unfortunately, yes.'
'How efficient is he out here?'
'Well, you're very nosy aren't you?'
'Just interested.' I shrugged.
'If you must know.' Sharon looked at him. 'He's the most efficient member of the team.'
Bingo. That's what I wanted to hear. That's what Bernard wanted to hear. It didn't matter if Sharon's comment meant nothing. Of course it didn't. Of course I'm the most efficient member of the team. That's not a compliment! It's the truth. Out of me, Alex, Tommy and Steve - I'm the best. But that's like saying Tony Hadley is the best one in Spandau Ballet. It's the best of a bad lot.
'Thank you.' Bernard smiled and noted it down in his file.
'What has Dylan's efficiency got to do with a Museum Meeting in Costa Coffee?' She tilted her head.
Good question.
'Nothing.' Bernard shrugged.
Sharon twisted quickly and walked back up to the store. Leaving me waiting for Bernard to finished writing.
'Right, I think I've seen everything.'
'Good.'
'I'm not stupid, Dylan.' He said, re-angling his glasses. 'Your work mates. The tits. Your manager. Costa Coffee.'
'What do you mean?' I backed away.
Bernard took off his glasses and paused to form his words. I knew straightaway he had seen through everything. Like he said, he wasn't stupid. My co-colleagues loved looking at tits and my manager had no idea Bernard was coming. But before Bernard could start, I heard my name from behind him.
'Dylan?'
It was Allison, all wrapped up in a long blue coat and black bobble hat. She was due to start work soon and had just gotten off the bus. Last night we spoke for hours on the phone. Phone calls seemed to last forever but they only feel ten minutes long. We'd had four dates up to now. I'd seen her DJ'ing a few times and we went to the cinema last week. Our last date found us both completely drunk, singing karaoke to old men in a tiny pub. I always sing 'I Want To Break Free.' Together, we nailed it. I told her on the phone about Bernard's visit. She told me it would run smoothly, so far, she was wrong.
'Hi, I just wanted to say...' She said with a glint in her eye. 'Thank you for helping me yesterday.'
Bernard looked at Allison. Allison looked at me. Me head nearly exploded from confusion.
'Oh...no problem.' I said.
'My mum says thank you too. You were so good with her wheelchair.' She nodded.
'What did he do?' Bernard asked her.
'Oh, I always come shopping every week with my mum. Dylan's the only one who can help. He's so great with my mum. Laughing and joking with her. Which is what she needs at the moment...after her results.' She looked at him earnestly.
Bernard looked to the floor, then back to me.
'I just do what I can.' I shrugged.
'Well. Thank you for inviting me around, Dylan. You obviously are special to some people. I'll be in touch tomorrow.' He shook my hand warmly and headed back to the train station.
I waited for him to disappear around the corner until I gave Allison a huge hug. I know he was smart, but anyone what have bought that.
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