'She was working late one Thursday a few weeks back, at the hairdressers. I was going out into town the next night so I thought I'd get a haircut. She cut my hair and we chatted and that. I walked her home. Her parent's weren't in.'
Duncan was sweating. If it wasn't for the massive, serious and somehow soap-opera like revelation he was telling me, I'd have been in fits of laughter. Normally he'd start his shift by giving me a dead arm and calling me names, now he was squealing like a a small animal, pacing around me, almost in tears. Duncan said 'Her parent's weren't in.' as if it was the best excuse ever. As if I would reply 'Oh, her parent's weren't in?! Say no more, mate. Tuck in, don't mind about Darren when Jenny's Mum and Dad aren't in the house!' I didn't quite know how to take it. Just finding out that Jenny was pregnant was enough for me today, let alone being told twice, by two of the potential fathers.
'What were you thinking, Duncan?'
'I don't know. I really don't know.'
'So Jenny said it could be your child?'
'Could be.' Rubbing his sweaty hands.
'Are you going to talk to Darren about it?'
'Oh no, no!'
'Why not?'
'Because he'll kill me, that's why not!'
'You have to talk to him, I think. Before Jenny says something.'
'No, we'll wait until we find out who the Dad is. Then we'll talk. Or just forget about it.'
'But you need to be involved in finding out. And so does Darren. You need tests.'
'Bloody hell, Dylan. How' d you know this stuff?'
'You know why, Dunk. I've got G.C.S.E's.'
I spent the last hour of my shift trying to talk some sense into Duncan. Trying to find out more about that night after his haircut and if I should tell Darren myself. It was an exhausting hour. I realised that I was involved now, they both choose to tell me about Jenny. They chose to tell me about their problems because I was the most educated. That's not fair. Surely the most educated could exclude himself from anything, it's the div kids that need to hear these awful things. They deserve it, for throwing pencils instead of learning History, and looking up porn in I.T lessons.
'So who made the first move, then?' I probed him.
'What?'
'You or Jenny?'
'I'm not going to tell you that, you dick!'
'OK, fair enou...'
'Jenny. She was all over me. Said that Darren didn't understand her.'
'What did she mean by that?'
'She said Darren wanted to work himself up here, be a manager and that. Maybe get a house with her. Well, that was too much for Jenny. She got scared. So....'
I was taken aback by Darren's sudden ambition and drive. And completely blown away by Jenny's short sightedness and stupidity.
'So you slept with her? Because she was scared?'
'Not just that. She's fit as well.'
Terrified and attractive. That's all he needed.
I finished my shift and failed at convincing Duncan and do the right thing. Easier said than done of course. I'd struggle to tell Darren anything quizzical. Last week I struggled to tell him he needed to have his lunch break ten minutes later than usual. Duncan has to say he slept with his girlfriend and the baby he's excited about might not be his.
It was the next morning and I offered to cover Steve's morning shift, he being still 'ill' of course. Duncan was due to join me at 10am but didn't show. It didn't surprise me one bit. I'd like to have thought that he spent the day with Darren and Jenny, talking it over and apologising. But Darren arrived at 5pm and I realised no meeting had taken place. So I imagine Duncan did the usual by spending his day on the Xbox, eating crisps and smoking weed.
'Hey Darren, how are you?'
'Have a look at this...'
Darren unfolded a grey t-shirt in front of me. On it, in big black bold letters, read the words 'WHO'S THE DADDY!?'
'It's a good question.' I uttered
'What?'
'It's a good one that, mate. I take it you're excited about it now?'
'Oh yeah, spent the day on the internet.'
'Say no more.'
'No, not porn. Looking at baby clothes. They're soooo small!'
'I imagine.'
Darren was giddy. Like a child, with an ice cream, on Christmas day. Which happens to be his birthday.
'So you've spoken to Jenny about it, then?'
'Yeah, I've been at hers all day.'
'She excited?'
'Yeah, of course. A bit worried, obviously. After all, the baby is inside her!'
A lot of things have been inside her.
'Great. Darren, are you considering moving your way up here?'
'What d' you mean?' He said, defensively.
'I heard that you want to be a manager here.'
'So what?'
Darren was now holding his daddy shirt close to his chest, his lower lip quivering.
'I'm not having a go, mate. I think it's a great idea.'
He looked me up and down, trying to detect any specks of sarcasm.
'Oh, well.' He said slowly. 'I'll have to now, won't I? Now we've got Alf on the way.'
'Alf? You're sticking with Alf are you?'
'Well, Alfie.'
'Aww, that's nice.'
It wasn't nice. This whole thing wasn't nice. Suddenly I felt guilty for knowing what I knew. I thought of telling Darren right there and then, but it wasn't my responsibility. We'd grown into quite good friends over the last few weeks and I did feel an urge to keep him happy, regardless of the truth. The car park was a mess but we didn't mind the work. There was a lot of both our minds so we got on with it, clearing out each trolley bay and taking the trolleys up. I admired Darren's decision to try and work his way up, so I egged him on.
'It's great what you're planning to do.'
'Yep. Spoke to Sharon earlier. She's putting me on a Customer Services course.'
'Brilliant.'
'It's better pay, if I do become a manager. And I'll need it with Alfie.'
'Even without Alfie, it's a good decision.' I tried.
'What's that supposed to mean?'
'Career wise. How does Jenny feel about it?'
'Well she said it doesn't matter about the money. We'll get a house no problem now she's pregnant, she said.'
Of course. That's the other reason for a having a baby. Time off work and a house.
'But isn't she thrilled about you wanting to become a manager?'
Darren shrugged. It angered me. I wanted to call Jenny right that second, ask her what she was playing at. How could she cheat on Darren, with someone he works with no less. And then have no interest when he tries to better himself at work. But, of course, I didn't have Jenny's number. And asking Darren for it was out of the question. If I did ring her she'd think I'd want sex off her, probably. Then she'd have made her way through three trolley pushers. Not a fact to be proud of.
I became tired of thinking about it. The problem was Jenny's, Darren's and Duncan's. So what if I knew about it? Right?....Wrong.
End of part two.
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