Steve and the others had ignored me for the rest of the day. The day after I told Steve I was putting in for a transfer to the grocery department was Saturday, and at 11 am, when everyone was clocked in, Steve held a meeting on the car park to discuss things. Usually these weekly meetings only last about three minutes. The twins start fighting or Darren takes the mickey out of Steve so much that he calls it off. Sharon had Steve recording the meetings at one point, but that was soon cancelled when Darren said, whilst recording 'Steve puts the dic in Dictaphone.' Tempers flared, punches were thrown, all in front on the regional manager, who was visiting that day.
I was dreading the meeting. Stood in a circle with Darren, Alex, Duncan and Steve with my head down. My department change became this massive elephant in the room, it wasn't talked about for at least seven minutes. Steve was halfway through a message about checkout bags when Duncan piped up.
'Can't we just get to the Dylan thing?'
'Eh?' Steve said, taking off his reading glasses.
'The Dylan thing. Going to grocery.'
'Well, I'm not going yet. I've got an interview today.' I defended myself.
'You're spot on, Dunk. Yeah, all right. Dylan...' Steve said looking down at his paper. 'We wish you...the best of luck with the interview today.'
What? The best of luck? Surely they would have a go at me for trying to leave? I'm not bigging myself up or anything, but I'm the best they've got out here. No pleading for me to stay or even a question about why I want to go?
'Really? Well, thank you guys.'
The lads were all looking at me with a grin. They were supporting me. This felt strange. Only three days ago I was being called 'a tit' for cleaning out the bins when I wasn't asked to, and now I'm being supported? I was made up.
'You're welcome, Dylan.' Darren said, his face beaming.
'You'll rock that interview, mate.' Steve grinned.
'Yeah.' Alex said.
Even Alex supported me. He doesn't normally say words this early in the morning.
'Just beware of The Manders.' Steve said.
'Yeah, thanks...what?'
'Manders. Judy Manders Manderson!'
'What are you talking about?'
'You haven't heard?' Steve leaned in
'Heard what?'
'Oh my Christ, he hasn't heard!'
What hadn't I heard? The guys all jumped and jeered around me, making whooping noises and shouting 'Manders Manders!'
'What's a Manders?' I asked.
'Judy Anderson, your soon-to-be grocery manager.' Darren said.
'Right...'
'She used to be a bloke!' Darren shouted, but was hushed by the lads as they all looked around suspiciously.
'Shut up!' I said disbelievingly.
'Honestly. Haven't you noticed? She used to be a fella. Honest.'
'What are you talking about?'
'He's not noticed, lads. Take a look at her next time you see her. She's packing more down there than all of us combined!' Steve barked, pointing at his trousers.
'I don't believe you.'
'Why would we lie about something like that, Dylan? Everyone calls her 'Manders.' She had an op last year. Very hush hush. The word in the canteen is, is that she's still got a meat and two downstairs.'
They all laughed again. So much for a professional meeting. Four minutes of high end transsexual debate. I tried to get my head around it, but the truth is, it didn't really matter what the truth was. Man and woman, she was going to be my boss, hopefully. So I went into the interview with a confident stride and a smile that said 'I don't care if you're a man or not. We're all equal!'
'Come in, Dylan.'
Judy was dressed in a dark pant suit, with her dark hair up and shiny black shoes. I smiled and shook her hand, before looking at her up and down. I knew straight away it was a mistake. You never look people up and down unless you want to show them you're judging. But I looked down, then up, stopping at....the area. Double taking in the process. There was nothing out of the ordinary I could see, but still, I shouldn't have looked. It's an unwritten rule. She ignored it, being the utter professional she was.
'So...' She said, sitting down. 'Tell me, Dylan. Why are you interested in the job?'
'Well, I've worked outside for a while now and I feel I've gotten everything out of it.'
Yeah, pissed on by the rain, nipple twisted, laughed at and mocked for having a universally acknowledged degree.
'Right...' She nodded. That meant it was a good answer, but I had more.
'I'd like to try something a bit more challenging and interact more with the customers.'
'Right, well, this job will certainly get you that.'
This was going brilliantly. I was a shoe in for this 'gig', as Steve would put it. And we seemed to have a good chemistry too. While I was thinking this, without knowing, I was looking at her features for any clues as to her sex. It was crazy, I know. But Steve and others seemed to really believe it. Then again, Steve thinks Ozzy is the best singer in British history. Judy's jawline was quite pronounced, like that bloke in EastEnders who looks like he could nut someone at any second. Her facial features were quite feminine, but with a dark shadow above her top lip. Then I realised I had been looking at her for quite a while, in silence, with narrowed eyes.
'So, Dylan.' She said, crossing her legs in her seat. 'Have you heard about the change? I assume Steve has told you?'
Oh God.
'Erm...change? Yes.' I said 'yes' a bit gingerly. Which made it seem like I was unsure.
'Right. Well, make no big deal of it.'
No big deal of it? Oh no, this was a big deal. And by saying it's no big deal reveals it to be the biggest deal ever. Judy put her pen down and rubbed her face with both hands.
'It's not a big deal, Judy.' I tried.
'No, exactly. And I'm having it sorted in a few weeks and all will be back to normal.'
Back to normal? Was this normal? What is she sorting? Was there anything to sort? My mind was rushing.
'That's good. Normal is good.'
'I will fill you in on all the details once it's sorted, that's if you get the job.' She grinned.
I'm going to be filled in. That sounded horrible. Did I want the job any more? She stood up and we exchanged pleasantries, before giving her my available work days and Sharon's approval form. I should have just left there and then, leaving a very successful and positive interview in my wake. But no, I had to say something. To make her feel better.
'Oh, and one more thing...'
'Yes, Dylan?'
'I won't tell anyone about it.'
'Oh, you can. Pretty much everyone knows now.
'And how do you feel about that?'
'No problem, really.'
'Wow, that's really good.'
'Yeah, I've known since January.'
'That's interesting because most people know when they're quite young. Like, fifteen or something.'
'Know what?'
'You know, that they want the change.'
'I'm sorry?'
'The Change...'
'I'm sorry, I'm not following.'
What was happening? In films, things like this go off with big arguments and yelling, with revelations exploding out of every orifice. But no, this is real life. And I was left to being stuck in a doorway, sweating, trying to convince a manager that it was OK to be a transsexual.
'You know...about being a...' I said the word, but slightly muffled. She glared at me. 'You're a...you're a man, aren't you?' I looked at her, wishing for the right answer.
'Excuse me, Dylan?!'
'I...I don't...I mean...'
I sweated more and more, until I couldn't see from the sweat in my eyes. She sat me down without a reply and shut the door.
'Would you like to explain what you mean?'
God, she was a professional. I shifted in my seat and thought about were to begin. I thought about Steve, and what the lads all said. I thought about her jawline and shadowy brow, and the sorting and changing she was talking about. But I only managed to blurt one word out.
'Manders'
'What?'
'Judy Manders?'
'It's Anderson, Dylan. My last name in Anderson.'
'I know, but...What was all that about 'getting things sorted' and 'what Steve has told me.'?
'Yes, about a new Grocery manger taking over from me next month...'
'So you're not Manders? You're not....a man?'
'Who on earth told you that?'
'Just...people....people I know. Steve and everyone...'
'Well, I'm not a man. You can tell the people you know that too.' She spat at me.
She looked really confused now, and my head began to hurt. I thought that was the best time to end this interview.
'Well, thank you very much for seeing me.' I said standing up. ' I look forward to your reply in due course.'
I put out my hand for a handshake. Do women handshake? Would she shake my hand? I suppose it's a kiss on the cheek for woman isn't it? But this is a formal interview, a handshake would suffice. I looked at my warm, sweaty hand out in front of me. Judy was still glaring at me, so I smiled and left the room.
Brilliant. Thanks lads.
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