In The Name Of Love

‘So how’s life in the Grady household?’

‘Oh…OK.’ Steve yawned, stumbling along side me with three trolleys. ‘We got the house.’

‘Brilliant.’

It had been a week since Steve and Mary found out they were having a baby. The Grady’s were having a baby. A Grady Baby. Don’t think I didn’t crack out that gem the minute I saw him today.

‘I know you think I’m a bit of a cool dude, Dylan. Too laid back for my own good and all that. But, I may have gone bit overboard when I heard the news.’

A bit overboard? The day after he found out he told me he bought ‘Daddy Day Care’ and ‘About a Boy’ on DVD to prepare himself.

‘But I’m warming to it. Mary’s going to have a baby.’ He confirmed.

‘Both of you. Both of you are having a baby.’

‘Yeah, I know.’

He had to get out of the habit of saying that. I don’t know much about women but they don’t like to take full responsibility for some things. Babies and reversing a car are the main two.

‘So, any baby names yet?’

‘Well, I want Steve.’ Steve said proudly.

‘Steve?’

‘Yeah, you know.’ He smiled. ‘Steve Junior.’

‘Or Steve The Second.’ I smiled back.

‘No, that would be stupid.’

Oh, that would be stupid? Calling a baby Steve is fine. You can’t call a baby Steve. That’s like calling a baby Alan. It doesn’t sound right.

‘Mary’s got a good idea. She didn’t want Steve…’

Shocking.

‘…And she’s finding it really tough, so we’re thinking about pooling names from a few people, popping them into a hat and drawing one.

‘Like a raffle?’

‘Yeah. Like a raffle. Everyone loves a raffle.’

He was right. Everyone likes a raffle. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea. It’s an interesting story when you grow up. How did your parent’s choose your name?

‘My mate Chuggs has gone for Ozzy’.

Maybe not.

‘And you've just gone with Steve, again?’ I asked him.

‘No, I went for my second choice.'

'What's that?'

'I'm not telling you.’

‘Why not?’

‘It’s a secret. I want to keep it quiet until it's out of the hat.’

‘All right…’

I bet he’s chosen something horrendous like Rocky or Axl. Axl Grady. Not bad.

Allison was back from her caravan break in Cornwall, a bit of a tan on her face and the same bright smile. We shared a pack of crisps and chatted.

'So, have you been to the museum whilst I was away?'

I wondered when she was going to bring that up. I tried to push other things to the front of our conversations. Her holiday, the latest episode of The Apprentice and the expiry date of the crisps all dried up within five minutes. I hadn't heard from the museum since Bernard's wife called me so he was ill, since then Allison has been presuming I work there. Maybe because I didn't want to let her down. Or maybe because I hadn't told her otherwise. Maybe both.

'Yeah, I’ve popped down a few times. Sorted a few things out.'

'Things? What things?' Allison looked at me.

'You know...admin.'

Admin always takes time. She can't argue with admin.

'Oh, right. When do you finish here then?'

'Err...a few weeks, I imagine.' I said, nearly choking on a crisp.

'A few weeks? Wow...why that long?'

I couldn't say it was because of admin again, can I? Surely not.

'Well, the museum is only a few days...for now. I can get away with two jobs...for now.'

'Great.' She smiled, leaning over to me. 'Proud of you.'

Allison kissed me on the cheek and got herself a drink from the machine.

'Have you heard about what Mary and Steve are doing?' I shouted over to her.

'Not their Wrestling Rock nights down at the town hall?'

'No, not that. Although Steve wants that to happen. No, they're putting names into a hat to get a baby name. He's asked us all to do it.'

'Cool. Is it not Steve Junior any more then?' Allison asked.

'No, that was just a pipe dream.'

'I'll have to think of some names.'

'I'm going to put Patrick.'

'Patrick?'

'Yeah.' I nodded. 'I've always liked that name.'

'Yeah...it's nice.' Allison smiled.

Half an hour later we were all standing outside of the store. Allison, Tommy, Darren, Alex, Fran and even one of the cleaners, Juan, who didn't really seem to know what was happening. I think he just saw a crowd and wandered towards it. Steve and Mary stood beaming in front of us, both holding hats full of screwed up paper.

'You actually got two hats for this?' Darren asked, a bit disgruntled from having to stand outside in the fine rain.

'Of course.' Mary said.

'I thought it was just an expression.'

'Anyway.' Steve cleared his throat. 'Thank you all that putting names into the hat...'

After Steve's long welcome speech he pulled out the name for the girl. Tallulah. Everyone cringed apart from Allison's brother Tommy who smiled broadly, showing off his braces. They couldn't pick again, those were the rules. Mary picked out a piece of paper from her hat.

'OK...and if it's a boy...'

Everyone looked at each other. Juan wandered off. This was the moment. The moment that ruins a baby's life. Ozzy. Rocky. Axl. Poor kid.

'Patrick!'

Me and Steve yelled at the same time.

'What are you excited about?' He asked me.

'I chose that.'

'No, I chose that.'

'Wait...you chose Patrick, too?'

'Yeah, it was my Granddad’s name. Why did you?'

'I just like the name.' I shrugged.

We all cheered and clapped and hugged, happy in the knowledge that the baby may end up with a normal name.

'Patrick it is!' Mary announced.

'Or Tallulah!' Tommy interjected.

We all looked at him.

'Or not.' He looked down.

Yeah...or not.