'Will you...you know, marry me?'
That very second I was embarrassed and relieved to be sat there, watching Steve in front of me on one knee, staring up at a bedridden Mary.
'Erm....'
I wasn't expecting that. Steve wasn't expecting that. And I think it's pretty safe to say Mary wasn't expecting the whole thing.
'Mary.' Steve sighed. 'You're no picnic...'
Good start, Steve.
'But under that you're the most amazing, astounding, wonderful girl...woman that I've ever known.'
Mary pulled her head back and glared at him.
'Where have you got that from?'
'What?'
'That? That quote.'
'It's not a quote, it's how I feel.'
'It sounds familiar, doesn't it Dylan?'
Why am I always involved in engagements? At Alex and Fran's I ended up wrestling a man to the floor and now I'm getting involved in this one. But it did sound familiar.
'Yeah, it's off a film, maybe?' I suggested.
'Or a TV show?' Marry added.
'Never mind that, Mary. Will you...?'
Steve stretched out his hand a little more, making the silver of the ring glint around the bland walls of the ward. Mary stared at it and thought a moment.
'Titanic!' She shouted.
'Yeah!' I added.
'We watched it together on our first date. Jack says it to Kate Winslet!'
'Yeah, to Rose.' Steve nodded. 'It might be from that, but...it's how I feel.'
'Where did you get the ring from?' Mary pointed.
'I always have it. Just in case.'
Oh yeah, everyone does. It's a must-have for the pockets, isn't it? Just in case. Penknife. Loose change. Engagement ring. They're the big three.
'Just in case of what? Just in case you see someone you want to marry?'
'Exactly.' Steve smiled.
Steve didn't see the expression in Mary's eyes.
'Charming.'
'Thanks.' Steve shrugged with a grin.
Usually when a man wants to ask his girlfriend to marry them, they set up something extraordinary so the bride will never forget it. A balloon ride over the English countryside, a candle lit dinner with some of that expensive wine or a walk through a park in the moonlight. Something extraordinary. But I have to say, Steve had bagged himself an extraordinary moment here, choosing a hospital ward as a venue and a drugged up, injured wrestling Goth as a soon-to-be bride. That's if she says yes.
'So, will you?'
Mary stared at the ring again. Now that the ache of figuring out where the quote came from had gone, her mind was clear.
'No.' She said blankly.
'I'm sorry...what?' Steve leaned in, as if he misheard her.
I wanted to get up and walk away, leaving them in peace. But I felt like I was in one of those wildlife documentaries. If I got up and made a noise, the things I'm looking at would run off, and that's not a very good documentary. You have to learn not to disturb things like that.
'No, Steve.'
'What do you mean?'
What more did he want? Will you marry me? It only needs a yes or no answer.
'No. It's not...us.'
I instantly knew what she meant. She may be drugged up with painkillers but she was talking sense. Steve and Mary getting married didn't sit right. Not because they weren't good enough for something like that. It's just, some people don't need it in their lives, like a religion or having a cat. For some it's a mainstay and a necessity in a couple's existence. For others it's not necessary. For Mary and Steve, getting married wasn't necessary.
'Steve, I know why you're doing this. It's because you're scared. Like the time you bought the complete series of Blackadder of VHS.'
'And who's laughing now? It's gone out of stock now.' He said smugly.
'I know. I know. You don't need to do this. We don't need to do this.'
Steve and Mary hugged. Then after a few seconds, the normal required hugging time was nearing it's end. Ten seconds in and they still had their arms wrapped around each other, their faces buried in each others shoulders. I couldn't just leave, Steve was my lift back to work.
'Steve?...Mary?...'
Steve cleared his throat and let go of his girlfriend, staring into her eyes in close proximity.
'Mary...I'll never let go...'
He's done it again.
'That's from Titanic too!' Mary smiled.
'Ah, shut up! It's a great film!'
We made our way back to the car. Steve was whistling a little tune along the way.
'Why would you quote Titanic at her?'
'Listen, Dylan.' Steve said, unlocking his skoda and opening the door. 'You watch that film with a lady and you're bound to have a bit of luck. It worked for me.'
Steve asked a girl to marry him and she said no. If that's luck, I want nothing to do with it. I went home that day and watched Titanic on DVD. I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like for Steve and Mary to take over from DiCaprio and Winslet.
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