Break, Rattle and Roll (Part Two)

When I looked up and saw Jenny walking back into the store, half of me wanted her to turn around and see me. Then, naturally, she would know I overheard her on the phone, be racked with guilt and confess everything to Sharon. Then it would be over. Jenny would get fired and the case would be over. Then again, as she did walk past me, maybe she did know I'd overheard the conversation. I imagine she'd trap me and offer things to me to keep my mouth shut. I could bribe her for things. Expensive things. Or I could take half of what she stole and run off to Reno or somewhere, building a strong yet fiery relationship which ultimately ends in us living together. But that was nonsense, or a Hollywood B-Movie, one of the two. Of course, she had Darren. And Jenny and Darren were in love, so it seemed, it could be the only excuse for singing James Blunt songs. That and just bad taste.



I finished my break and walked into the store, along the walkway overlooking the supermarket and past Sharon's office. I could hear her on the phone, shouting in her thick Scottish accent, which made it even thicker. I stopped for a moment to try and get a word of what she was shouting. Two cases of eavesdropping. I was scaring myself. Invading peoples lives like that. I had to take off my imaginary cape and deer stalker cap before I got myself into trouble. I had no business listening to either case, but the first one was kind of important, wasn't it? Sharon had said 'If you hear anything, let me know.' Her Scottish tones were echoing in my ear. Should I go in and tell her? Then it would be over. I could ask her to anonymous, of course. But then Jenny would know because she possibly saw me eavesdropping on her. Oh, this was interminable!


I couldn't win either way. I decided to leave it. Sit on it, as they say, and wondered downstairs and past the checkouts. Jenny was back working, bleeping food through silently. She looked a bit guilty. But not a hundred percent. She didn't look at me. But then again, she didn't seem to notice me. This was exhausting! I'd only been going five minutes and I was shattered. I was no crime solver, it's too stressful. And to make things worse, I bumped into someone walking in the other direction. I was too busy staring at Jenny I wasn't paying attention. It was Duncan, who'd just started his shift.

'Look where you're going, you tit!'
'Oh sorry, Duncan. Just a bit pre-occupied.' I nodded over to Jenny.
'Oh...ooohhh.' Noticing her. 'It's like that is it?!'
'No, no...'
'You'd better keep it quiet though. You know she's shagging Daz?'

Oh God. He used the word 'Shagging'. I didn't know we were in a 90's Sit-com. You know the ones, were everyone is 'shagging around' and deciding what they're doing with their tedious, 20 something lives. I hate those sit-coms.

'I know. I know. He's with her. That's not my point.'
'You better watch out, he'll have you!'
'No, no..'

He walked past me as I tried to explain. This was great, eavesdropping on crimes and accused of 'shagging' my mate's girlfriend. Not much of a Crime Investigator. You wouldn't catch Frost shagging about. He had bigger fish to fry.


Darren was outside, pushing the odd trolley up the store, whistling something. I tried to detect a hint of Blunt but it was pretty tuneless. One of those tuneless, happy whistles people do.
'All right, Daz.'
'Hey, how did the interview go?'

The interview. That seemed ages ago. I thought a moment about what to say. I already knew who the culprit was. Do people say 'culprit' any more? Anyway, I already knew who broke into the safe, I'd forgotten what happened in my interview.

'Erm, yeah, all right.'
'Cool. Mine went OK, too.'

We walked around for the last hour of my shift. I was a little distracted with the Jenny situation. It struck me that this was probably the first time more than one person was thinking about this girl, for different reasons. Jenny struck me as one of those girls who didn't like her parents, and vice-versa. Like she'd get home from work every day, lock herself in her room and play dance songs all night. I tried to get a bit of truth out of her, through Darren. I felt like I should have had a pad and pen in my hands, but I had to tell myself, again, that I wasn't a crime investigator.

'So, how's Jenny?'

Smooth.

'Yeah, she's cracking!'
'Getting on all right?'
'Yeah.'
'What she up to tonight?'
'Erm, I think she's going to her mates house.'

Yeah, to count her money.

'Oh, right. Have you noticed anything strange about her recently?'
'Erm, no. How'd you mean?'
'Just, you know, anything strange?'

Before Darren could think about my question, Duncan walked at us to start his 5pm – 10pm shift.

'All right, guys.'
'All right Duncan.' Darren said.
'Has that Scottish hag spoken to you, too?' Duncan asked.
'Yeah, both of us.' Darren said. 'Why would she be acting strange, Dylan?'
'Who's acting strange?' Duncan asked.
'Dylan's asking about Jenny.'
'Ohhh, Dylan. Bloody hell, mate. First you're staring at her when she works, now your trying to get at the boyfriend!'
'What?' Darren shifted his weight away from me.
'No, no. Duncan, shut up. I was just saying...'
'You stare at her?'
'No, no.'
'He does.'
'Shut up, Duncan.'
'She's seeing me, Dylan...'
'I know.'
'Looks like you don't know.'
'Shut. Up. Duncan.'


And the conversation went on like that for a good fifteen minutes. I couldn't explain to either of them my point because I didn't want to tell either of them the truth. I walked back into store with Duncan whooping and Darren threatening me. This never happened to Morse.


After my shift I picked up a few things from the store. Milk and tea bags that my mum had texted me to get. All in capital letters, like mothers do. 'PICK UP SOME MILK N T BAGS.' She thinks she's cool, you see. Last week she said a funny joke on TV was 'classic.' Too far, mother. I spotted Jenny at her till, coolly walked over and dropped the stuff on her belt. Playing it cool, it turns out, is quite difficult. I wanted to portray that she was the one hiding something. But as I spoke it seemed that I was the one hiding what I'd overheard.

'Hiya, Dylan. Hows Darren doing outside?'

'Oh, yeah. Fine.'

I had an idea.

'He's a bit worried about you, though.' I said coolly.
'He is? Why?'
'Oh, I don't know.' Getting the money from my wallet. 'He said you've been acting strange. A bit quiet.'
'I don't think so. I'll have a word with him.'
'No, no.' Dropping my wallet. That wasn't cool. 'That'll only worry him.'
'I suppose so. I bet Darren is worried about you, actually.'
'Me? Why?'
'Duncan says you've been looking at me.'
'No, no.'


I screamed 'Shut up, Duncan' in my mind as she smiled. She was loving this. She was the one who should be feeling guilty. I've never seen that in Columbo, half way through revealing who the perpetrator is and the guy jumps up and shouts 'You love me, Colly! You love me!' The anger rose inside of me as I marched up to Sharon's office. Unbelievable. Surely she should tell Sharon herself, but no! I have to do the right thing before Darren batters me for trying to get with the girl who should be fired by now!


Sharon's office door was ajar. I peeped inside to see her pacing up and down with a cigarette between her fingers.

'Knock knock' I said, knocking twice with my head through the door.
'What is it, Dylan?'
'Erm, can I sit down?'
'Yes.' With a sigh. 'Go ahead.' She sat down opposite me and stubbed out her cigarette.
'You allowed to smoke in here?'
'In my office?' She said bluntly, answering the question for me. 'What is it?'
'I have something to tell you. You know how you said that if I hear anything, I should come to you?'
'Yes.' Sitting up in her seat.
'Well...'


She was glaring at me, which made me nervous. I shifted my eyes away from her, out of the window to the car park outside. There were children running around at the front of the store, a taxi driver waiting impatiently beside his car and Darren, doing a litter pick. He looked so happy. No-one has ever been happy whilst picking up litter. He was still singing, throwing his head back, his eyes gleaming.


I couldn't do it.


'...well, I've put some feelers out, and if I get any information, you'll be the first to know.'
'You've put some....feelers out?'
'Yes. To feel...things.' My hands reaching out.
'Right. Is that all, Dylan?'
'Yes.' Getting out of my seat.

Sharon lit another cigarette. I got to the door and looked back.

'One more thing, though.'
'What?' Taking the unlit cigarette out of her lips.
'Duncan called you a 'Scottish hag.' I didn't know what that meant, you might want to ask him.'

Her eyes turned as red as her hair.

'I will. I'll speak to him. Send him up.'



You can't solve them all, can you?